Our minds will tell us many things in a day. Some are good, some slow you down, maybe even stopping you. Whatever that is, there are tricks we can implement to get our minds to think more about what we want rather than staying stuck in thought. This happens frequently in our world today; think of your smartphone. How often do you get stuck on your phone, being unproductive and procrastinating? This is just one example of many we will discuss in our blog today on how to get out of just thinking and into more action.
This blog came about when the other day I was home, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. I knew I wanted steak, but there were no good restaurants within a reasonable driving distance, and I wanted to start the ton of work I had to do that weekend. First, I wasted an hour thinking of what to eat when I could have just driven anywhere and got the steak I craved.
Though it would have been easy to leave at the start of the hour and get some food, I did not have an outside motive, typically my wife and son. They are currently on vacation at the time of writing this article, so I have the house to myself, and it has been amazing to get the amount of work done without them breaking into my office every other hour. Though I welcome them, sometimes I want to focus 100% on work. However, I could not focus on my work because I was focusing on what type of food I wanted.
Long story short, an hour went by, and I left home to get the food I decided on; it involved me cooking. After eating, I was off to the races and finishing that pile of work. The crazy part is if I wanted to be more efficient, I should have gone with my first thought and original plan, but instead, I was stuck in my mind on what to eat and even looking at the pros and cons. This caused me to stop making progress in my work and think about too many choices, which caused me to lose an hour of work that day.
Though an hour might seem irrelevant to some, that one hour could have been used differently. My growth depends on me making more good choices than poor choices, and waiting and not taking action led to a good choice, but waiting is a habit that you do not want to get stuck in, so it led me to think of some tricks to get out of my mind as soon as possible.
The first trick in which I used was to change my environment. The environment can be as simple as changing your location in your house. For example, if you are in your bedroom, move to the living room and think there. What I did, and I recommend to people, is to get some sun, especially if you have been inside for the bulk of the day.
Studies have linked the sun to happiness and good decision-making. It is no wonder why we need at least 5 mins of sun daily and why people in Alaska suffer from sun deficiency and depression. Once I changed my environment by going outside, my mind was stimulated in the best possible way.
This led to my second trick, which was to get around people. If you surround yourself with the right people at the right time, your mind will level itself out. The opposite can happen if you surround yourself with bad people or suffer from depression, but today, we will focus on the good. As soon as I got around people, I could feel my energy and mind rejuvenating. I now understand the studies done by people isolating themselves for days or weeks and how they go crazy after the third day. It explained a lot to me because I was alone most of the time while my family was away on vacation, besides my meeting with clients.
Trick number three: after thinking about my hour, I determined that writing or journaling would have helped me to choose within 10-15 minutes compared to the hour I used by just thinking alone. One of the reasons it took longer was because I was weighing out the same ideas repeatedly, but if I wrote it down, I would not keep re-writing it because it was already on my paper. This is the mind at work, and I know journaling to be a powerful tool.
In college, I would journal at least once a month. Sometimes more, depending on my mindset status, but typically, one time was good enough for me to get and stay on track. I would typically journal when I had a hard time thinking, was full of worry and stress, and had a plume of depression looming over me. This was when I decided to give all my worries, anxieties, waves of anger, and many more negative feelings to the paper instead of the mind.
The trick I used when journaling is different than diary writing because what you write down you should not read again. The reason for this is that if your mind is confused and is having a difficult time focusing on thought or action, you would be better to get rid of the things that are becoming obstacles, your thoughts, and leave space for something better to take the place of any unhelpful thoughts or thinking patterns.
This method will not work for everyone because they will want to re-read what they wrote, but there is power in writing things down and making space. Think of it as a garage sale where you are decluttering your mind. The paper wants what you don’t want, that is, the purpose of the paper, to be used and written upon. Once you have all the bad things out, get a new sheet of paper that you can read and start laying out your good options. This works better than just one paper because you do not want the garbage/junk you just got rid of to taint your mind again.
Trick number four will involve physical activity. This is similar to trick one in changing your environment and getting out of the house, but it gives physical reduction. In college, sometimes, I suffered from bouts of anger because I did not know how to regulate my emotions. All I thought of was why I was not feeling like my normal self, which made me angry. I learned in time that anger was an emotion that had a valid place in my life.
I got rid of that anger by working out and going to the gym. I needed an outlet since I did not have anyone to confide in. It felt like I was fighting the world by myself every day, and it was a flaw in my mindset then. I once thought I could do everything by myself because I was doing everything by myself, and when I let other people try to help or do a part, they messed up or didn’t show up. It was stepping into the reality of competence in the world. Not many people had the drive and wit I had, and I thought they should, but that was a flaw in my thinking.
Then, we get into the final trick: connecting with others. This trick is also related to trick number two, getting around others, but it is different by the connectedness level. I can best explain this by spending time in the dog park. While living in Connecticut, I would take my dog to the park almost every day after work. She had been locked in the house as a teacher while I was in school and needed an outlet. We found that the dog park was the best way for her to get around other dogs and me to get around people.
Though I was around many people I would speak with on each visit; it did not mean I connected with them on a friend or intimate level. Yes, I had some great conversations with some of them, but it wasn’t what I believe true connection consists of. When I think of true connection, I think of someone you can tell your world to with no judgment, and the only people I have found that connection with are the coaches I work with.
As a man, it is an untold truth that we must brunt the world with a smile. We must not show weakness to the ones we love and protect, and we must be brave 100% of the time. Though there is truth in these statements of what a man should do, he should realize that he is not an island. Though he will be that figure for his family, there are healthy ways for him to express his thoughts and feelings.
I get a lot of hate when I tell this to women who believe men should be “emotionally intelligent” enough to express their feelings, but men are different than women. Yes, women should practice all aspects of emotional intelligence; that will be where their true superpower resides, along with their femininity, but for men, we need a different approach. This is where coaching comes in for men.
I have found that for a man to have a true connection, he must surround himself with other growth-minded men. Finding this can be difficult, but getting a coach can be a great first step. There are also men’s and mastermind groups they can join to build this connection. Nonetheless, power comes when a man finds or creates a group of men he can confide in and who will push him to be better and more than he is today.
In closing, these tricks may work differently for each person, so finding the strategies that resonate with you and fit your unique needs is essential. Combining multiple approaches can also be effective in breaking the cycle of overthinking and getting your mind on a more positive and productive track. If these steps are beyond you and you are just in a dark place, do not stay there; get help today. Reach out to us here at Reven Concepts and discuss how you can change your life toward something better than you could have imagined.
Until then,
Michael Rearden
Founder of Reven Concepts
